Chapter 35: A Peculiar Hobby (Please Add to Your Collection)

A black line appeared above Chen Yun’s head, then another, then countless more. Was there anyone who talked like this? What did she mean by saying he could digest even excrement so cleanly? Did she even know how to talk like a human being?

“Nurse, enough with the nonsense. I want a full examination—X-rays, MRI, CT, MT, everything! I want to know exactly where all the food I’ve been eating has gone.” Chen Yun glared at her, thinking that if the nurse weren’t a woman, he’d have used his fists to reason with her after a comment like that.

“I’m sorry, but all the doctors have already gone off duty. If you want tests, you’ll have to come back tomorrow. After all, you haven’t had a bowel movement in a year already; one more night won’t make a difference.” The nurse shook her head as she spoke.

“Damn it! Is this your idea of customer service? Do you think I won’t file a complaint against you?” Chen Yun was furious. What kind of attitude was that? According to her, if a dying patient came in at night, they’d have to wait until the doctors were back on shift to be treated?

“Complain all you want. Do you need me to give you the complaint hotline number?” The nurse curled her lip in disdain.

“You—!” Chen Yun clenched his fists, but seeing the contempt in the nurse’s eyes, he simply stamped his foot and turned away.

Chen Yun knew that, though this world was remarkably similar to Earth, there were still many differences—take this hospital, for example.

On Earth, most nurses weren’t officially employed staff but on contract. Those in the system were considered permanent staff, enjoying lifelong benefits and social insurance, while contract nurses were treated as temporary workers with limited benefits.

But here, any nurse working in a hospital was a state-protected civil servant under imperial law. If a patient ever laid a hand on a nurse, no matter who was at fault, only the patient would be punished—except for cultivators and the privileged class. Chen Yun had only just arrived in this world; unfamiliar with everything, without so much as an ID card, he’d been doing his best to avoid trouble.

“What a mess. I really need to figure out my identity situation. That damn nurse—I’ll remember you. You think you can bully patients just because you’re protected by your status? Next time I come, you’ll see what’s coming to you!”

“Coward. I’m still waiting for you to complain about me.” The nurse folded her arms and watched Chen Yun walk away, muttering to herself, “Do you know what happens to people who complain about doctors and nurses at the hospital? They’re banned for life from seeking treatment. If you don’t like it here, why should we treat you? There are plenty of other patients; we won’t miss you. Hmph!”

“No matter where you are, registering your identity is never a simple task. Chairman Jiang, I’ll have to trouble you.” Early the next morning, Chen Yun picked up the phone and dialed the number on Jiang Shan’s business card.

“Player Chen Yun requests to initiate a call with NPC Jiang Shan. Confirm?”

“Yes.” Chen Yun paused, then remembered that the in-game communication system worked just like this. He wasn’t too surprised and selected “Yes.”

“Player Chen Yun has not added NPC Jiang Shan as a friend. This call will be charged at the pay-per-use rate. Due to the distance, the fee is 20 gold coins per second.”

Not added as a friend? What did that mean? He and Jiang Shan knew each other—how could they not be friends? Chen Yun was puzzled, but before he could think it over, Jiang Shan’s voice came through the receiver.

“Haha! I wondered why I heard a magpie this early in the morning. Turns out it’s Master Chen! If you’re calling me out of the blue, there must be something you need?”

“Hello, Chairman Jiang. I do need your help with something,” Chen Yun replied.

“Master Chen, you’re too polite! You helped my grandfather break through his bottleneck; you’re a benefactor to the Jiang family. Your business is my business. Please, tell me what you need. If I can do it, it’s as good as done.”

“Well, I…”

“Since player Chen Yun and NPC Jiang Shan are not friends, this call will be terminated after thirty seconds. The call has ended.”

What the—! Staring at the disconnected call, Chen Yun was stunned. There was a requirement like this? He didn’t remember anything like it in the game.

“Huh? Why did Master Chen hang up?” Jiang Shan was also confused. Master Chen had been in the middle of speaking—why did he hang up? Could something have happened?

Worried, Jiang Shan immediately called back.

“NPC Jiang Shan would like to initiate a chat. Do you accept?” Just as Chen Yun was about to call again, he heard the prompt and quickly accepted.

“Master Chen, why did you hang up just now? Is something wrong? Tell me, I’ll handle it for you,” Jiang Shan asked.

“Chairman Jiang, here’s the thing. I need your help to get a new…”

“Current device balance insufficient. Please recharge promptly. This call has ended.”

Damn it! Hearing the system’s voice, Chen Yun kicked a chair across the room in anger. Was there no sense of decency left? He just wanted to make a phone call—yet the system kept coming up with friend requests and charges. Was this fun to you? Was it?!

“How odd, what is Master Chen doing?” Baffled after being hung up on twice, Jiang Shan pressed redial again. But this time, instead of hearing Master Chen’s voice, he heard, “Sorry, the user you have dialed is out of credit…”

“Out of credit?” Jiang Shan was incredulous. “That number is clearly the hotel room phone. How could it be out of credit? The standard telecom charge is one copper coin per minute, and every hotel room gets 1,000 gold coins of credit per month. Even if you called nonstop for a whole month, you’d never use it up!”

Chen Yun switched to another room and called again. This time, as soon as the call connected, before Jiang Shan could speak, Chen Yun said urgently, “Chairman Jiang, listen to me. I have a peculiar hobby—I like to play games with people. Before we talk business, let’s play a game. Don’t ask why, just do as I say. I’ll say, ‘Chen Yun requests to add Jiang Shan as a friend, do you accept?’ and then you say, ‘I accept.’ All right?”

“Uh… Master Chen, you really do have unusual hobbies. Very well,” Jiang Shan replied, his expression odd.

“Thank you for understanding, Chairman Jiang. Here we go. Chen Yun requests to add Jiang Shan as a friend. Do you accept?”

“I accept.”

“Player Chen Yun has added NPC Jiang Shan as a friend. Friend calls are now free.”

Wiping the cold sweat from his brow as he received the prompt, Chen Yun felt relieved. Finally, they were friends. What a hassle—it had not been easy.

“Master Chen, we’ve played the game. Can we talk business now?” Jiang Shan’s face wasn’t looking too good; he felt as if he’d been made a fool of, but he restrained himself and asked.

“My apologies, Chairman Jiang. This game is a rule my master set for me—I must play it at least once a month, or if I’m found out, I’ll be expelled from the sect.” Chen Yun was becoming more adept at lying; the words came easily.

“So that’s how it is. I was overthinking it. May I ask who your master is, Master Chen? I’d like to pay my respects someday.” Having heard that, Jiang Shan’s suspicions vanished, replaced by curiosity. After all, anyone capable of training a master-level chef must be a renowned figure.