Chapter 25: I Said, Your Uncle!

With both the pedals and handlebars gone, Chen Yun was so terrified he shouted for the car to stop, but the soundproofing of the Maserati was so good that the driver, Mr. Liu, couldn't hear his cries at all. He kept driving at sixty kilometers an hour, leaving Chen Yun nearly petrified with fear. Chen Yun clamped his legs tightly around the bicycle frame and gripped the rope with both hands.

After a while, Chen Yun sensed something was amiss. Normally, a bicycle missing its pedals and handlebars while in motion should have only one fate: tipping over. Yet, he felt remarkably steady, not even the slightest inclination to fall. Summoning his courage, Chen Yun let go with his hands—nothing happened. He relaxed his legs—still nothing. Now, he was simply sitting with his backside on the saddle, feeling an uncanny stability. Not only was there no danger of tipping, he didn’t even feel a single bump. The handlebar-less bicycle followed every turn of the car as if it were part of it, a sight as absurd as it was astonishing.

Chen Yun wasn't the only one bewildered; pedestrians passing by gaped in disbelief.

The sight of a car towing a bicycle was nothing special, but towing a bicycle with no pedals or handlebars—and with someone sitting on it so steadily, without holding onto anything—was extraordinary. The most astonishing detail was that the rider managed to sit there, balanced only by his backside, as if glued to the seat.

“Honey, do you think that guy is a circus performer? He’s incredible!”

“He must be. Otherwise, he’d have fallen off long ago. What a pro! Which circus is he from?”

“Check out the bike—no handlebars, and it still turns on its own. What brand is it? We should get one.”

“This is beyond words! His balance is supernatural. Look—he’s keeping steady with just his backside. He must be a master acrobat!”

“I’m really curious—what’s he trying to show us? Who’s he performing for?”

“Who else but us? Why else would he do it? Look, the bike’s turning again. Amazing... oh, damn!” The speaker’s eyes widened as the rear wheel of the strange bicycle silently detached and rolled twice before tipping over against the curb.

Pedestrians stared in shock. To their surprise, the bicycle didn’t topple immediately after losing its rear wheel. Instead, it continued at the same angle and speed, as if the wheel belonged to someone else’s bike.

“How is this possible? This isn’t scientific!” a woman screamed.

“Record it! Quick, post it online. This acrobat is incredible—he’s going to go viral!”

“Damn it, nobody stop me—I’m going to find that master acrobat and become his apprentice! Master, wait for me!”

“Player Chen Yun’s mount durability is 70. Mount randomly lost rear wheel component. Due to the loss of the rear wheel, durability consumption is doubled. Player Chen Yun, please replenish mount durability as soon as possible.”

No matter what the pedestrians thought, Chen Yun, hearing this prompt, was terrified. Brother, please, I’ll call you brother—aren’t you supposed to be a bicycle, not a unicycle!

He screamed and yelled in fright, but Mr. Liu still couldn’t hear him, until...

“Player Chen Yun’s mount durability is 60. Mount randomly lost rear seat component. Due to the loss of the rear wheel, durability consumption is doubled. Player Chen Yun, please replenish mount durability as soon as possible.” With a sharp sound, the rear seat dropped off.

“Player Chen Yun’s mount durability is 30. Mount randomly lost chain component. Due to the loss of the rear wheel, durability consumption is doubled. Player Chen Yun, please replenish mount durability as soon as possible.” Another sharp sound, and the chain fell away.

“Player Chen Yun’s mount durability is 10. Mount randomly lost front tire component. Due to the loss of the rear wheel, loss of front tire increases durability consumption threefold. Player Chen Yun, please replenish mount durability as soon as possible.” With a snap, the front tire fell.

“Player Chen Yun’s mount durability is 0. Mount randomly lost saddle component. Player Chen Yun’s backside suffers an attack from the seat post, losing 50 health points. Mount durability is 0. Mount disappears.”

Chen Yun, clutching his bruised backside with a face as red as liver, looked at the vanished bicycle, then at the Maserati speeding away, trailing the rope, and finally broke down in loud, desperate sobs.

System, you and I are sworn enemies!

As they neared the city, Mr. Liu encountered a red light and slowed to a stop. Glancing in the rearview mirror, he was stunned to see only the rope fluttering in the wind—no sign of Master Chen on his bike!

Oh my god. Mr. Liu broke out in a cold sweat, ignoring red and green lights as he quickly pulled to the roadside and followed the rope back.

“How odd, the rope isn’t broken. Where’s Master Chen?” Mr. Liu stared at the smooth rope, utterly baffled. “I’d better go back and check.”

After eating three packs of instant noodles to restore his lost health, Chen Yun surveyed the lonely stretch of road, frustration written all over his face.

“Wait—when Mr. Liu realizes I’m missing, he’ll surely come back to look for me.”

Chen Yun sat on the curb, propping his chin in his hand, thinking.

The bicycle had lost 10 durability points after ten kilometers and dropped its first component. By that calculation, one durability point equals one kilometer—a brand-new bicycle could go 100 kilometers.

No, that’s not right. It depends on which part drops first. If the wheel drops first... with doubled durability consumption, it might not even last fifty kilometers. If both wheels drop early...

“Damn it, I swear on the heavens—if I ever meet the designer of this game system, I’ll hang him from a ceiling fan, set it to the highest speed, and leave him spinning for a day—no, a week!” Chen Yun plucked a wild grass by the roadside, chewing on it as he muttered, “What a mess. Am I supposed to carry dozens of bicycles in my backpack every time I go out?”

Just as he was stewing in his frustration, a young man, barely in his twenties, rode up on a bicycle.

“Master! Where’s your acrobatic bicycle?”

Chen Yun looked up at the stranger and asked, “What acrobatic bicycle?”

“The one you rode all the way here, master! You’re incredible—I chased after you for ages, and I saw everything. Your performance was nothing short of brilliant: the chain fell off, but you kept going; the tire fell off, but you kept going; now the whole bike is gone. Too bad a sharp corner blocked your act, or I’d have seen how the bike disappeared. Master, tell me about it, won’t you?” Wei Yu tossed his bike aside, gesturing excitedly.

“...” Chen Yun regarded the young man as if he were an idiot, finally squeezing out a single sentence: “You must be joking!”