Chapter 159: Inside the Private Room, Elegant Reveries

Yu Xiaoran looked at the two who could playfully bicker at any time and place, and smiled faintly without giving much explanation to the fair lady beside him. Yet, his arm unconsciously draped around Yan Xuexue's slender waist, pulling her tightly into his embrace as if he wanted to knead her into his very being. Yu Xiaoran was not some clueless, naive boy when it came to matters of the heart; he knew well what his beloved wanted and what she longed to hear. With his eloquence, he could easily coax her into complete docility, temporarily plunging her into the inescapable depths of his sweet-talking flattery.

However, Yu Xiaoran had no wish to treat the woman he loved with such perfunctory superficiality. He knew what Yan Xuexue was panicking about; he knew what she was dreading. Therefore, he could not use sweet words to set her mind at ease, for that would only treat the symptoms rather than the root cause, failing to cure her deep-seated emotional ailment once and for all. Only through his own practical actions could he show this silly girl that he, Yu Xiaoran, would never abandon or forsake Yan Xuexue until death claimed him. Only in this way would she understand that he had long since changed and was no longer that romantic rogue of the past who only knew how to linger in places of tender indulgence.

It was she, Yan Xuexue, who had touched and changed him with her sincere heart, causing Yu Xiaoran to suddenly yearn for stability and to take this romance seriously. He admitted that he was not a man of steadfast devotion; rather, a romantic and untamed nature was his very essence. Yet, once Yu Xiaoran learned of Yan Xuexue's true feelings, it was as if he had found, in that single instant, the very thing he had been searching for everywhere he wandered without ever being able to find. It was precisely because of Yan Xuexue's sincerity that he understood what had always been missing from his life: a stable, devoted relationship sustained by genuine affection.

Perhaps in that ignorant past of his, he had indeed been infatuated with Lan Wu, but that had already become the past. Yan Xuexue was his true future. Yu Xiaoran truly cherished Yan Xuexue; he loved this woman to the absolute depths of his soul—her uniqueness, her delicateness, her deep understanding, and even everything about her. Every aspect of her tugged at his heartstrings. Even a mere smile or frown from her was enough to make this veteran playboy's heart race and remain unsettled for a long time. Truly, Yan Xuexue had completely occupied Yu Xiaoran's heart; at least for now, there was no room left in his soul for any other woman.

Yet, what Yu Xiaoran would never know was that Yan Xuexue did not want practical actions to prove his deep love for her; she only longed to hear his true answer. Only the response spoken from his own lips could grant her peace of mind, even if the answer he gave was a lie so transparent it could not even deceive himself—Yan Xuexue would still accept it. Even if reality itself were to cruelly tell her in the end that she had been deceived, she would still foolishly believe in the man who had once made her a promise. As long as Yu Xiaoran said the words, she would believe him without a backward glance. It was simply a pity that he was currently unwilling to grant her even a direct reply, leaving Yan Xuexue feeling truly panicked and heartbroken in that moment.

Yet Yan Xuexue could not articulate all of this. If the price of revealing the truth was to exchange it for her hard-won and precious romance, then she would rather drown forever in the dream woven for her by Yu Xiaoran. She would rather go her entire life without ever knowing Yu Xiaoran's true feelings, selfishly keeping her beloved by her side to enjoy this incomparable warmth he brought her. Perhaps this thought was truly laughable and naive, but looking back and considering the suffering, the wounds, and everything Yan Xuexue had been through, one would understand. A heart that had already been shattered to its core could simply never be broken again unless one also wished for Yan Xuexue to turn to ashes alongside that dead heart.

It seemed that the subtle and bizarre atmosphere between Yu Xiaoran and Yan Xuexue drifted outward to those around them, causing everyone to simultaneously cast glances of mild puzzlement toward the pair, wondering what had happened. Only Yu Shang, standing outside the turbulent fray, could see it all with absolute clarity. It appeared that the two of them were harboring their own thoughts at the moment; despite caring deeply and feeling nervous about each other, they stubbornly insisted on second-guessing and suspecting one another according to their own eccentric logic. Perhaps good things always come with trials—heaven had deliberately posed a difficult riddle for these two, requiring them to solve it with their hearts. Only a truth dug out through painstaking effort could be profound and real, isn't that so?

It was simply a pity that Yu Shang himself had missed the moment to give each other a true answer. Perhaps it was driven by the power within his vital meridians; perhaps it was because his eyes had been blinded by an intense sense of hatred that he struck the fatal blow, causing the woman he had once deeply loved to vanish with the wind, leaving only beautiful yet sorrowful memories to continuously surface in Yu Shang's heart. This was perhaps the best revenge Ling Huanying could have left him with before she departed! Allowing him to muddle through life in ignorance, burdened by regret and doubt, until his dying day without ever knowing the reasons behind it all—how very tragic.

Or perhaps she knew too well the pain that revealing the truth would inflict upon Yu Shang, and thus chose to let that matter remain a secret forever, so that at least one of them could continue to live happily. She would not dare claim her actions were noble, but at least this was the last thing Ling Huanying could do for the one she deeply loved before leaving this world. If one could only choose between romance and familial duty, while the other had to be ruthlessly extinguished with one's own hands, then she would rather choose herself to be the one who left. This might be a cowardly evasion, but it was indeed her solemn dedication to those two distinct forms of love.

Unfortunately, Ling Huanying chose such an unwise ending. She thought that by doing so, she could protect her beloved on the one hand while avoiding betrayal of her family on the other—a seemingly perfect solution. Yet she never considered that while she sought her own release, what were those left behind supposed to do? They were the ones enduring the true agony! A romance is not afraid of two people overcoming obstacles hand in hand as they stagger forward; what it fears is when one party believes themselves to be noble and selfishly chooses self-sacrifice, cruelly abandoning the other to miserably cling to life in agonizing loneliness.

Perhaps her starting point was good—she wanted everyone entangled in this affair to have a happy ending—but she used the wrong method and stepped onto a path of no return, not only for herself, but for Yu Shang as well. Yet every matter has two sides, and it was precisely because of this trauma that Yu Shang was forced to compel himself to grow strong. It made him no longer willing to submit to others or allow anyone else to dictate his fate. He did not ask to conquer the world, only that no one would dare to bully him and that he could control his own life. As for what was lost, it might never return in this lifetime; all he could do was remember and repent.

"Your romance is truly the envy of everyone. No matter what kind of arguments or bickering you have, nothing can ever tear apart the unbreakable love between you. I suddenly feel that it must be wonderful to have someone by your side who loves you, while you deeply love them in return," Qin Ruohen said upon noticing that the atmosphere felt somewhat amiss. Yet these were truly her heartfelt words; such a romance genuinely filled her with envy and yearning from the depths of her soul. It was simply a pity that she was bound by circumstances and undeserving of possessing someone who could bestow such a wonderful, dreamlike, and sweet romance upon her.

"Why envy others when you can simply find such a good man for yourself, one who cherishes and cares for you? Experiencing it firsthand is always far more real and genuine than something untouchable that you only see with your eyes!" Yin Boxuan gazed gently at Qin Ruohen, whose eyes carried a trace of melancholy, and spoke softly. To say that such a beautiful woman lacked men vying to care for and protect her would be impossible. However, to say that she had yet to find a mutual affection was quite believable, given how tragic fates often saw the man willing while the goddess remained indifferent. How difficult it was to find someone you deeply loved who loved you in return! Matters of fate were truly miraculous at times—they could neither be forced nor anticipated. Perhaps, as others said, the right person always appeared when least expected!

"How could I not wish for someone to constantly accompany and cherish me by my side? It's just that my fate has not yet arrived, and that person's time has not yet come. Yet heaven has not treated me too poorly, granting me my own Qingyu Pavilion and so many like-minded friends. Living like this actually makes many people envious; I shouldn't disparage myself, right?" Qin Ruohen smiled softly, yet it failed to conceal the sorrow at the corners of her eyes. Clearly caring so deeply yet forcing oneself to pretend indifference—such a woman, so strong, truly aroused one's deepest sympathy!

"Rest assured, heaven will not treat a woman as pitifully lovable as you unfavorably. It wishes to reserve the best for you, so just wait patiently. No doubt your special someone is already on the road making his way here. Perhaps before long, he will stand before you in his most perfect posture, and by then, you will realize that this long wait was truly worthwhile!" Meng Youyuan leaned gently against her beloved's shoulder and spoke softly. Although it seemed she was comforting Qin Ruohen and urging her not to give up hope, in reality, she was marveling at how her own long wait had proven to be the right choice.

"I'll take your auspicious words to heart, and I hope I can find someone who will treat me as sincerely as this gentleman treats you, cherishing me deeply. Even if he is not a dragon among men, but merely an ordinary mortal—as long as he truly cares for me and wishes to protect me rather than just fancying this shell of a body—I will entrust myself to him without regret and spend the latter half of my life with him," Qin Ruohen lowered her head to look herself over, then smiled helplessly. Everyone loves beauty; she would not look down upon those who merely admired her appearance. But what if she gradually aged and this outer shell was no longer captivating? Would he still love and cherish her as madly as he did in the beginning? She did not know if her thoughts were overly pessimistic; she merely hoped for someone who understood her inner beauty rather than someone who blindly and simply fell in love with this ephemeral appearance.

"I believe you will definitely find someone who, even when you no longer possess a complexion that even the heavens envy nor a voice that makes the earth jealous, will still continue to love you—and even more so than before. Because he has already experienced you at your most beautiful and moving moments, the most enchanting moments of your life have been firmly etched into his mind, enough for him to hold your hand through wind and rain and reminisce about the second half of your lives when you both grow old," Yan Xuexue said with immense yearning. This was the life she desired most. She also hoped she could experience what she had just described, and even more so, that the man by her side would be none other than Yu Xiaoran, accompanying her as she gradually grew old and living out a happy life together.

"I don't know why, but though we have only known each other for a brief moment, it feels as though we have understood one another for years. This feeling is truly wondrous. Regardless of everything, I hope all of you can find your own happiness, live carefree lives, and experience the existence you have yearned for so long." Whether the earlier words were true or false, at least this statement from Qin Ruohen was imbued with genuine emotion, spoken straight from the heart. For they had suddenly made her understand that one must live on with hope; no matter how cruel reality might be, as long as there remained hope in one's heart, one possessed the mighty will to shatter all perils and hardships.

"Actually, we feel the same way! If we hadn't taken a liking to you from the very beginning, we wouldn't be sitting here chatting and idling away the hours with you without the slightest bit of restraint!" Lan Wu smiled at the charming and alluring Qin Ruohen. This woman truly possessed an irresistible magic; it was utterly impossible to feel even a sliver of aversion toward her—instead, one could only feel a deep and intense fondness.