Chapter Twenty-One: Mischief!

“Bao’er, open your mouth!”

“Ah!”

“Is it sweet?”

“It is! Thank you, Brother Zhao!”

Inside the small ancestral hall, Li Zhao and Jin Bao’er sat beneath the Dragon Scale Cypress, eating chilled grapes. Their roles were clear: Li Zhao handled the picking, washing, chilling, and peeling, while Jin Bao’er had only one duty—eating!

Across both his past and current lives, Li Zhao had always been an only child. He often dreamed of having a younger brother or sister, just to taste what it felt like to be an elder sibling. Unfortunately, his family line passed down only one child each generation; he had neither siblings nor even cousins.

Jin Bao’er’s arrival perfectly fulfilled this wish, and Li Zhao doted on the little girl with such care that it bordered on meticulous devotion.

Once she was brought home, Aunt Qing bathed her and dressed her in new clothes purchased for her. The little ragamuffin, once dirty and indistinguishable, was transformed into a budding beauty: arched willow brows, round apricot eyes, a delicate nose—her looks easily outshined most children her age.

It was hard to imagine that the burly blacksmith Jin could father such an adorable daughter. Perhaps Jin Bao’er’s mother was a great beauty herself.

Through conversation, Li Zhao learned that Jin Bao’er’s mother had died of illness shortly after her birth, leaving father and daughter to depend on each other. The thought was indeed a sad one.

He also had White Bun buy nourishing herbs and meats—chicken, duck, fish—to supplement Jin Bao’er’s diet and help her recover from her injuries. After some time, she regained her health, her small frame filled out, and some color returned to her cheeks. She formally became the fourth member of the small ancestral hall.

At first, Li Zhao worried that the unfamiliar environment might make the girl uncomfortable. Yet, these concerns proved utterly unfounded—Jin Bao’er adapted astonishingly well. She ate heartily, slept soundly, played joyfully, and was always smiling, bringing an air of happiness to the hall.

Aunt Qing and White Bun took to her as well, and their affection for the lively, bold little girl even surpassed Li Zhao’s.

Especially Aunt Qing, who not only cared for Jin Bao’er personally but also, perhaps unintentionally, asked about her family and birth date, then began calculating: the girl was eight, in seven years she would be fifteen, Li Zhao would be twenty-two—an ideal match, childhood companions, a handsome man and lovely woman…

Whenever he heard such talk, Li Zhao felt his blood boil—not with excitement, but with a chill running down his spine and goosebumps rising all over.

What a joke! He brought Jin Bao’er home simply out of kindness, with no ulterior motives, certainly not intending to raise a child bride.

Even if he were to seek a wife, she’d be tall, alluring, an older sister type—ideally an icy goddess. That was his taste, and the thought alone made his mouth water!

“Brother Zhao, I caught a big rat. Will you come play with me?”

“Brother Zhao, I picked lots of mulberries. Let’s eat them together!”

“Brother Zhao, why are you rolling your eyes?”

…

As the saying goes: No gold is pure, no man is perfect. This fits Jin Bao’er perfectly. She was excellent in every respect, but had one small flaw—she was too lively, too bold, overflowing with energy!

Have you ever seen a little girl catch a live rat bare-handed?

Have you ever seen a girl climb a tree several meters tall to pick mulberries, and, on the way, raid a magpie’s nest?

Have you seen a girl scale walls and rooftops, or crawl into a dark chimney for adventure?

…

Since Jin Bao’er arrived, Li Zhao witnessed all these feats firsthand in just a few days, each time as stunned as if struck by lightning.

He remembered his own childhood—an infamous troublemaker, always causing mischief, disciplined countless times by his father’s heavy hand yet never corrected. But compared to Jin Bao’er, he was a mere novice. Ten boys together couldn’t match her mischief!

Was she really a girl? Li Zhao began to doubt her gender and felt an urge to investigate.

No wonder, upon parting, the blacksmith Jin kept saying, “Thank you, young master. You must be patient…”

Raising such a mischievous child was no ordinary task. Li Zhao suspected that the blacksmith left his daughter as collateral simply to enjoy a few days of peace, unable to endure the torment himself.

To get a mischievous child to behave, snacks are a good tactic.

But she couldn’t eat all day, or she’d become a little chubby. After much thought, Li Zhao decided to teach Jin Bao’er something, to keep her occupied and expend her excess energy—so she wouldn’t run around causing trouble.

Reading was tried, but after three sentences, she was dozing off.

Writing was hopeless. Like a bear picking corn, she’d grasp one and drop another. After five days, she learned only three characters: Jin Bao’er.

Literature failed, so martial arts were next.

“Bao’er, do you want to learn combat skills?”

“What are combat skills?”

“It’s a powerful martial art. If you master it, you can fight tigers in the mountains, catch dragons in the sea. One day, you’ll be a heroine, defending the weak and punishing evil. On the street, you could take on ten scoundrels at once!”

“Bao’er wants to learn! Bao’er wants to be a heroine!”

“Good, I’ll teach you now. Watch closely: If a man tries to bully you on the street, you do this… then this… and then this… Understand?”

Every child dreams of being a hero, especially mischievous ones. Jin Bao’er bounced with excitement and quickly began to follow along—thus falling right into the trap!

Because what Li Zhao taught her was not true combat skills—it was far too dangerous for a girl. Instead, he taught her women’s self-defense!

Beautiful girls easily attract trouble, and women are naturally not as strong as men, making it hard to protect themselves.

So techniques from boxing, wrestling, judo, taekwondo, karate, and other martial arts were combined to form an art focused on subduing opponents and keeping oneself safe. Women’s self-defense has no strict martial framework or fighting rules—it’s all about improvising to achieve the goal, using any body part or tool as needed. As the saying goes: no fixed method, just results.

…

To put it simply, women’s self-defense has three moves:

First: Pretend to be weak, so the opponent drops their guard.

Second: Strike suddenly, targeting vital spots like the eyes, throat, or groin to disable the opponent.

Third: Once you land a hit, escape quickly before the opponent can retaliate.

If you add a few flirtatious glances and some provocative gestures, your success rate increases several times—after all, few men can resist the charms of a beauty!

“Pretend to be scared, toss your hair, throw a flirtatious look… then strike quickly: gouge the eyes, cut the throat, sweep the groin!”

“Gouge the eyes, cut the throat, sweep the groin!”

“Ow, easy there—do you want the Li family to die out?”

To be fair, Jin Bao’er was quick to learn. She soon mastered the moves, and with her super cute little girl looks, she was truly deceptive. Li Zhao himself almost fell for her tricks several times.

Playing with such a little girl was, as the saying goes, both painful and joyful.

…

And amid both pain and joy, time flew swiftly—soon it was the Dragon Boat Festival.

In the Tang Dynasty, the Dragon Boat Festival was also called the ‘Summer Solstice Festival.’ According to customs in the Guanzhong region, people ate sticky rice dumplings, drank realgar wine, and hung mugwort and sweet flag on their doors to ward off evil spirits.

The small ancestral hall became lively. Aunt Qing was in charge of making dumplings and preparing various delicacies. White Bun went to town to buy realgar wine and other supplies. Collecting mugwort and sweet flag naturally fell to Li Zhao.

Jin Bao’er wanted to follow him into the mountains, but Li Zhao refused, telling her to stay obediently in the hall.

Firstly, mugwort and sweet flag grew on steep hillsides, and the mountain paths were treacherous—it wouldn’t do for the little girl to get hurt.

Secondly, Li Zhao hadn’t eaten carp in a long while and wanted to indulge himself. Bringing Jin Bao’er along wasn’t convenient—not because he was unwilling to share, but because he worried her young age and loose lips might cause trouble if she let slip a secret.

Before he set out, Aunt Qing reminded him: be careful, go and return quickly. With ants everywhere and swallows flying low, there would surely be a heavy rain in the afternoon.

…

To be brief, Li Zhao carried a small bamboo basket and took a hatchet into the mountains. He first gathered fresh mugwort and sweet flag on a hillside, then headed to Black Dragon Spring, where he caught several large carp and built a campfire to roast them.

The fatty fish cooked quickly, and Li Zhao devoured them ravenously. Carp tasted delicious, but stealing them made it even better.

Just as he was enjoying himself, his heartbeat suddenly accelerated and his hair stood on end. His soldier’s instinct warned him—something was wrong, danger was near!

Li Zhao instantly gripped his hatchet and carefully scanned his surroundings. He saw four burly figures emerge from the woods, closing in from all sides with obvious ill intent…