Chapter Twenty-Eight: Mamma Mia

Unfortunately, no one pays much attention to a pet’s mood. Feng Ke’er was no exception. After calling out a greeting to Feng Jiu, she tossed her spoils into the cooking pot, picked it up, and left—there was a little spring not far away where she went to clean her catch.

Knowing her pet was a voracious eater, she planned to cook one per meal: the male pheasant was much larger, so lunch would be its turn. The female would be saved for dinner; as usual, she’d roast the drumsticks and wings, and stew the head and bones for soup.

Once everything was done, Feng Ke’er carried back more than half a pot of water, built a fire, and was about to use her old method—an ice lens—to start it, when a thought struck her: wasn’t her pet capable of breathing fire? Why not use the ready-made flame?

So, she took a slender branch, approached him with a bright smile, and coaxed, “Be good, Meat Bird, spit out some fire!”

After a fierce internal struggle, Feng Jiu had reluctantly accepted the new nickname “Meat Bird”—after all, he was indeed a bird, and currently going through a chubby phase, his whole body plump and juicy. Yes, he was now, indisputably, a meat bird! Humph, even if the brat’s words were innocent and childish!

But…

Humph! A mere mortal from the lower realms dares to use Samadhi True Fire? And for cooking soup, no less! Samadhi True Fire is the essence of heaven and earth, meant for refining elixirs! In the divine realm, only top-tier alchemy masters have the privilege of obtaining Samadhi True Fire from the Phoenix clan, and the price was sharing a third of their finished pills. As for the spirit and mortal realms, the Phoenix clan hardly ever ventured there, so these worlds didn’t even possess the real Samadhi True Fire!

Absurd! Feng Jiu was speechless and simply turned his head away, refusing to acknowledge her.

Such pride! Feng Ke’er expected this non-cooperation. Fortunately, she only wanted to catch his attention, prove her existence, and show off her abilities to earn his respect. Yes, she wanted to tame him!

So, she shrugged, withdrew the branch, and huffed, “Fine, don’t help. Without Butcher Zhang, I can still eat pork without the hair!”

Butcher Zhang? Who was that? Was she referring to him? This brat was a body of extreme yin water—could she really use fire magic? Though he kept his head averted, his ears couldn’t help but perk up.

Curiosity killed the cat! Success! Feng Ke’er noticed, delighted, and humming a little tune, activated her ice sphere spell, using her old method to start a fire with an ice lens.

The midday sun was strong, and soon, the fire was lit.

Feng Ke’er proudly glanced at the bird’s head, deliberately muttering to herself, “Hmm, should I roast these wings or stew them?” After a pause, seeing he still stubbornly held his neck high, she continued, “Yeah, let’s roast them. Let me find a stick to skewer them first.”

Alas, her curiosity tactic failed—he didn’t move a muscle from start to finish.

A little disappointed, Feng Ke’er forced herself to perk up and began preparing a tempting meal. But she doubted this would work. In her experience, birds were proud and stubborn; stealing food was one thing, but begging for it was another matter entirely. Even wild sparrows had the dignity to refuse “charity food,” let alone the king of all birds—the Phoenix!

Soon, the chicken soup was done, and the drumsticks and wings were roasted to a golden crisp, fragrant and succulent.

Feng Ke’er ladled a bowl of golden chicken soup with a gourd bowl, sniffed it deeply, and exaggeratedly praised, “So fragrant!”

But the bird remained unmoving, like a fossil.

Rolling her eyes at his back, Feng Ke’er finished her solo performance: sipping the soup, biting into the crispy drumstick, and deliberately munching noisily.

Alas, even after she finished, Feng Jiu was as unresponsive as if he were asleep.

The temptation of delicious food had failed! This Phoenix chick was as stubborn and immovable as a rock in a latrine, impossible to tame in a day. Time would tell—she glanced at the sky and decided to go down the slope to build a shelter. Otherwise, with the winds blowing, the bare mountain top offered no place to hide, and the long night would be hard to endure.

Estimating the distance, there was a vertical drop of about a hundred meters from the stone cliff to the slope below. Fortunately, the cliff wasn’t steep, and its surface was covered in cracks and crevices. It was midsummer, the peak of plant growth, and the cracks were dotted with low shrubs and old vines. Feng Ke’er felt she could easily climb down.

Standing at the edge, she carefully studied the route for half an hour, finally settling on a path down.

“Meat Bird, I’m going to check out the slope below. Stay here and wait for me, don’t wander off.” She shouted at the stubborn figure, leaning on a stick for support and holding a knife for caution, as she began her descent.

Actually, Feng Jiu had been watching her closely. Her ice-lens fire-starting was magical, and he was a little surprised. Yet her subsequent displays made him both amused and annoyed: Humph, with such skills, she wants to tame him? The girl really doesn’t know her limits.

But seeing her wisely stop without further antics, he decided to forgive her once more—after all, it was his forced contract, and he’d offended her first. So it was no wonder she wanted to regain some face by taming him; besides, they were now partners in a contract, and internal strife would only hurt both sides. He, a venerable being of the upper realm who’d lived over a hundred thousand years, had no need to quarrel with a teenage girl.

Unexpectedly, just as he pondered how to gracefully approach for a sip of the spirit-infused hot soup, the girl stubbornly went down the cliff!

“Hey…” Feng Jiu turned his head, opened his mouth, then closed it again: first, the girl moved so fast he couldn’t see her at the edge anymore; second, she was stubborn and proud, never taking him seriously, so why would she heed his advice?

Forget it, let her suffer a little to learn her lesson. He sighed and walked to the fire.

The fire crackled, still burning; the pot sat inverted on the fire, right next to it; under the lid lay a beautifully golden, aromatic roasted wing and drumstick; the hot bronze lid kept the meat sizzling and juicy.

Clearly, someone had thoughtfully left food for him.

Feng Jiu frowned slightly and muttered, “Stupid girl, at least you have some sense.” Fine, for the sake of these treats, if she got into trouble later, he might consider letting her off a bit.

If Feng Ke’er could hear his thoughts, she’d probably jump up and curse him for being a jinx. After she reached the bottom, barely steadying her legs, she heard faint clucking from afar. The sound was hundreds of meters away, reminiscent of the neighbor’s broody hen.

Was there a wild pheasant nest nearby? Impossible! With her sharp eyes, she hadn’t spotted a single feather from above!

With a soft “hmm,” Feng Ke’er gripped her stick and knife, crouched low, and quietly crept toward the sound.

Eventually, she stopped beside a large gray stone slab.

The sound was real, coming from beneath the slab.

The slab was an irregular quadrilateral, about twenty square meters, slightly sloped but smooth enough to play mahjong on.

Having learned her lesson, Feng Ke’er triple-checked for any male pheasants nearby before carefully climbing onto the slab, moving to the edge and peering down.

What she saw shocked her.

Mamma mia! Nearly half the slab was hollow underneath, revealing an enormous wild pheasant nest, crowded with many huge pheasants!

One, two, three… there were at least ten speckled mother pheasant queens! And a single, brilliantly colored, glossy feathered long-tailed male pheasant king.

Perhaps because of the afternoon heat, everyone was napping: the mother pheasant queens scattered around, while in the middle, the king and a queen slept neck to neck.

At the innermost part, one mother pheasant queen sat brooding. The clucking came from her sleep-talk.

That damned stone slab had blocked her view, so despite checking from above countless times, she never noticed the grand wild pheasant palace below!

If only she’d known, she wouldn’t have come down for anything.

Feng Ke’er covered her mouth, slowly retreating.

After hunting the male pheasant earlier, she’d learned what “fire attribute” meant. Though she didn’t know why the speckled mother pheasant queen in the cottage hadn’t breathed fire—if it had, the outcome would’ve been uncertain—it was clear from repeated encounters that these monsters fought fiercely, so clubbing them suited her best. She couldn’t always be lucky enough to find a dumb monster like the one at the cottage.

A single white-tier male pheasant was tough enough, let alone a whole family of pheasant kings, whose combat prowess must be exponentially higher! Mamma mia, there were more than ten—she couldn’t count them on her fingers.

So, she didn’t even dare use her club. Leveling up was nothing now; she only prayed for safe escape.

Unfortunately, relying on luck was futile.

As she retreated, she accidentally kicked a small stone.

With a faint rumble, the stone rolled a short distance.

She swore it went no farther than two fists’ length, and the sound was nearly inaudible.

But the brooding pheasant heard it.

She immediately opened her eyes, cocked her head, and pinpointed the sound above. Raising her head, she shrieked, “Cluck—cluck cluck—!”

Alarm sounded, and the king, queens, and consorts all woke up.

“Caw—cluck!” The king, roused from a dream, feathers bristling in true fury, beat his wings and leapt onto the slab.

Except for the brooding mother, the other queens followed, screaming. Their tactics were sharp; in seconds, they blocked Feng Ke’er’s retreat, cutting off her escape.

She became a dazzling sandwich filling!

The Divine Tome, Chapter 28: Mamma Mia—complete!